Trailer Trash: Jumper

Not based on the terrible Third Eye Blind song...


My first thought was this movie must be pretty fucking cheap. It has a Topher Grace look alike, the less anorexic chick from the O.C., the gay kid in Billy Elliot, and Sam Jackson. Turns out the Topher Grace look-alike is actually Hayden Christenson, the teenage Darth Vader (God, aren’t you glad you don’t have to see that movie again?).

Actually, this trailer is pretty cool. Teenage Darth Vader and the gay kid in Billy Elliot star as two anonymous looking white guys who can teleport. They use their superpower to rob banks and vacation in Egypt. Then Sam Jackson, in full on magical Negro mode (as opposed to Snakes on a Plane mode), goes after them with some kind of grappling hook. Much of the preview is spent showcasing the teleporting special effects: see Hayden Chistianson teleport from an icy lake to a library, or from one side of the kitchen to the other.

In the absence of large expolosions and people getting their heads blown off, this will do. Most super hero movies make me want to cry, but this one looks different, as the super heroes have no desire to save the world, nor do they sport fruity costumes. Also, that chick from the O.C. is really hot. I thought her and the nerdy guy made a cute couple. I'm willing to wait 18 years to penetrate their progeny. Male or Female.