The Bad, the Good, and the Totally Awesome

Working in entertainment probably requires way more bitch work for slave wages than most other industries, but then there are the moments that make it all worthwhile. They usually involve blow, blowjobs, festivals, and semi-famous people.

The Bad

Get sent to go pick up a lighting package for a music video on my first day of my first internship. Not able to fit said equipment in the trunk of my ’94 Nissan Sentra. Roll down the 101 with one hand out the window holding on to this mysterious gear that I’ve shoddily tied to the roof of my ride, praying that wind doesn’t pick up.

They tell me they’ll bump me up to a PA and pay me for my efforts. They don’t pay. My first day at my second internship I spend assembling drawers from IKEA.

The Good

Find myself at Sundance with no real agenda. I party near (not necessarily with) Mary Kate Olsen, making eye contact several times. End up at a club where Paris Hilton pushes past me. Decide I’m probably in the right place. Next thing I know, I’m hanging out with two full blown cougars from Calgary. Pretty sure one of them mentions a husband. Things are going good when we are cuddling against eachother in the snow after the club closes. Things go south when an Escalade full of black guys they somehow know pulls up and picks them up. They invite me along, but I pussy out of a possible gangbang.

The Totally Awesome

Get to be flown out to Austin for SxSW to shoot videos with the Comedians of Comedy, Les Savy Fav, and Andrew WK. Get Andew WK to say “Your love of pussy is no excuse for leaving an upper decker.” Texan blonde sees me sitting next to Brian Posehn and Michael Showalter. Apparently thinks I’m somehow important. End up getting a fantastic blow job in my shared room at the La Quinta Inn. My Mexican co-intern watches for about half of it and then goes to IHOP. Spend rest of trip getting shitfaced for free because I know a band.