The Future of Hip Hop Smells Like a Frat Boy

Hip hop. It’s a genre of music. It’s a cultural movement. It’s an attitude. And now, a way to sell perfume in a can.

Proctor & Gamble is launching a record label to bolster the image of their TAG body sprays and deodorants. They’ve cleverly called it TAG records. This came as a surprise to me, since until now most ads for TAG involved promising young white guys that TAG products would get them laid by bikini models.

Since young white guys really really want to get laid by bikini models, the side effect of this marketing is that men purchasing this product spray about three times the amount of scent needed.

Guys, there’s only one thing that women can smell right away. And that is desperation.

I appreciate that TAG wants to expand beyond the gullible young white guy market, but what kind of rapper is going to sign up for TAG records? TAG isn’t a high-end product like a Mercedes or health insurance. It’s something literally any douchebag can, and does, purchase.

Now if the label was put together by King Cobra or Smith & Wesson, THAT would a place to go for street cred. But a deodorant maker? You might as well cut your record with the help of LA looks hair gel.

P & G (that’s their street name) knows that grooming products alone won’t attract talent, so they went ahead and put Jermanie Dupri in charge.

He’s a big shot producer who has worked with Usher, Mariah Carey, Kris Kross and many others, but can he lure artists to a label that is fundamentally a corporate sell-out?

(Editor's note: I hope so. Maybe it'll finally kill a dying genre. Actually, it was dead by '96. RIP Tupac)

And we all know P&G won’t limit themselves to just hip hop. How about a Hair Metal label sponsored by Head & Shoulders? A Goth label sponsored by CoverGirl? An Emo label sponsored by Gillete razor blades? The possibilities for poorly conceived panders to America’s youth are really limitless.

I just don’t think I’m ready to buy any music from T-Pax Records.