Trailer Trash: The Dark Knight

Batman faces off against Hollywood’s most infamous villain: shit blowing up good and proper.

The Dark Knight represents pretty much everything I hate about movies: comic book adaptations, sequels, prequels, remakes of movies that are all ready pretty good that were made less than 20 years ago.

I also don’t exactly care for the work of the director, Christopher Nolan. That movie where everything was backwards was such a piece of shit. I think the reason why everyone liked it so much (yeah, I know you liked it) was because it made people think they were watching a deep and thoughtful art film, but really it was just some dumb revenge fantasy with serious narration (written with Nicholas Cage in mind, no doubt).

I didn't like the last Batman movie either. There was all this kung-fu nonsense. Not enough shit blowing up. All that lame pop-psychology. What was the bad guy’s evil plan, making people hallucinate? Where I come from, that’s called a free high. I pray every day for a super villain like that.

I was therefore surprised out how awesome this trailer is. Shit blows up good and proper! I counted 11 ‘splosoins (although some of these coulda been mulitiple shots of the same ‘splosion). And these are quality ‘splosions. It doesn’t hurt that they got a goddamn genius to cut this trailer, making the ‘splosions look even more cool. Al-Qaeda should use this preview as a recruitment film.

This is basically Heath Ledger’s trailer, and he looks incredible. Morgan Freeman gets about three seconds in this trailer (twice as much as 50 Cent in whatever that other movie was.) I don’t think he’s the butler, because the butler is the British guy. He probably plays the president, or God, or something like that.

Gary Oldman’s moustache gets a few shots. Aaron Eckhart, who is also supposedly in this film, is nowhere to seen.

[Editor's note: Mr. Eckhart is plastered all over the second trailer. Don't even think about reviewing it though.]

I can't wait for them to remake Batman and Robin. Who will play Mr. Freeze? My guess is Billy Cruddup, or maybe Paul Giamatti.