Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Most Generous Guy in Town

Or what would Jesus do if he made way too much money producing bad TV...

So I was invited to dinner at the Palm with a guy who may or may not produce this pilot I wrote which may or may not ever get made. We were to “meet” with this huge TV producer whose name I won’t reveal on the off chance I ever get anything approximating a career. He brought his son, or as I will now refer to him “the luckiest-graced-by-birth-no-talent-son-of-a-bitch on the planet or ‘TLGBBNTSOAB’” for short.

Huge TV Producer held court, “The thing is, and it doesn’t make any sense to buy a Gulfstream (for the uninitiated, The Gulfstream 450 carries 8 passengers and 3 crew and has a maximum range of 4,350 nm. A 2009 will cost you about 44 million). See, unless you plan to fly at least 350 hours a year you’re better off renting. Then it’s only like $5700.00 an hour plus whatever added expenses. That’s why I ended up selling mine.”

The conversation moved onto politics of course. I’ve always suspected that Hollywood was full of closet Republicans. Guys who publicly support the Democrat du joir but once inside the voting booth, it’s all about whichever Republican will protect their cash. Though Huge TV Producer drives a Lexus Hybrid and was flawless in his blowhard rendition of the entire lexicon of liberal talking points, something was off. “It’s time for Hillary to admit that she lost the nomination two months ago. Don’t get me wrong; I gave her money-” TLGBBNTSOAB chimed in, “I thought you gave Obama money…” “Yeah, him too…”

The check arrived: $627.00. That’s $73.00 more than an Indonesian factory worker earns in a year. As we headed out, a homeless man stood just outside the door. He spoke directly to us, “please can I get a little change? I haven’t eaten in a while.” I gave him all the change in my pocket. Walking away, I turned to see Huge TV Producer as he strolled right by Mr. Homeless, big smile on his face…just the nicest guy in the world.

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