“Brilliant” Scripts - Ghost Edition

Over the years, as an assistant and a development exec, I must have read at least 10,000 scripts. Most were terrible Matrix rip-offs, but it's gems like these that get me out of bed in the morning.

Don't even think about stealing these ideas, they're WGA registered.

I’ll Ghost-Slap the Hell Out of You

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

Logline: When a man dies, a being from the “other side” offers to bring him back to life if he takes the being with him. Once the being is revived, he goes on a murder spree.

Analysis: This script was mediocre until the finale. The hero defibrillates himself into a heart attack, which puts him back into the ghostly “other side.” Once there, he and the bad guy, also in ghost form, battle. I guess once you’re in the ghost side, everything there is ghosty as well, because they fight their way through a ghost-house, breaking ghost chairs over each other’s heads and strangling each other with ghost-phone cords. And then the ghost-protagonist throws ghost-cologne in the ghost-bad guy’s ghost-eyes. I was waiting for someone to get ghost-kicked in the ghost-balls and then have his head stuck in the ghost-toilet for a ghost-swirly.

The Worst Ghost of All Time

Genre: Supernatural thriller

Logline: A young man tries to figure out why a ghostly avenger wants him dead.

Analysis: The general idea is okay, if a bit unoriginal. Where this script truly went off the rails is that the ghost is hell-bent on murdering the protagonist. But apparently, he has to do it in really mundane ways. He starts out by loosening the screws on a bookshelf above the protagonist’s bed. When the protagonist bangs his girlfriend, they slam the headboard into the wall and the bookshelf comes crashing down, nearly crushing them. When that attempt fails, the ghost shoots at the protagonist. With a rifle. That he buys in a gun store.