Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Words I Never Want to See on Craigslist Again

In the process of searching for a new place to live (my old place is haunted by a clinically depressed 31 year old living ghost of a roommate) I noticed several recurring terms being bandied about the Craig-o-sphere Roommate Finder that I would heretofore like to mercy kill.

"Chill"

Whether it's describing the living space itself, the current occupants, or a desired character trait in a potential roommate, this word is just vague enough to simultaneously apply to everyone and no one. Technically, a coma victim is "chill," while a well-behaved baby is also "chill." As is someone who doesn't do or say anything exceptional, has no opinions, and basically offers the familiar presence of an Ikea item.

"Drama"

This one is basically a catch-all for any sort of conflicting or anti-social behavior. However, this term fails in its lack of specificity. Is the "drama" of a dirty dish the same "drama" caused by discovering a roommate beating off in the shared living room on a sunny Silverlake afternoon? I've found that one man's "drama" is another man's "Look Paul, I was only trying to repeatedly brush a bug off of my genitals, and also it was hot in here."

"420 Friendly"

This numerical term sounds like how a computer program would describe smoking pot. As if the DEA is going to come after you if you use perfectly good terms like "blazing it," "burning one down," or "sucking the smoky-cum from the Green Dragon's leafy prick." 420 friendly could also refer to those who are pals with Hitler's birthday or, chummy with the day that Columbine happened.

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